DETROIT - Lindsay Lohan was in town trying to get a nice deal on a brand new car.
LiLo heard that if she went to Detroit to purchase a car, she could save anywhere from $70 to $90 and she could also get a very nice set of customized windshield wipers, a state of the art gas pedal, and the biggest cigarette ashtray in the automotive industry.
While she was in the Chevrolet showroom of Country Cousin Chester's Chevrolet Dealership one of the salesman, Sid Goldenbar, noticed that she had what looked like about a two-inch cut on her left wrist.
He asked her if she was alright. LiLo noticed that he had seen the cut on her wrist. She told him that she had recently taken up the Old West art of whittling and she was still having a few problems getting the process down just right.
The salesman, who is noted for his brusque forwardness asked the actress if she was sure that she hadn't just cut herself on purpose.
Lohan looked at him with her most puzzled look and asked him why he would think that she would do such a thing as purposely cut herself.
Goldenbar said that he knew because he has read about her in The National Enquirer. He went on to say that he knows that she has a lot of freckles all over her body, even though she covers them up with lots and lots of Revlon, Maybelline, and Cover Girl makeup.
Lindsay asked him what in the world her having freckles on literally every part of her body, including her four most intimate body parts which she said she would refer to by simply using the linguistically accepted universal term (blank) has to do with her cutting herself.
Goldenbar told her that ever since he was in the third grade back in Flint, Michigan he had a gift for being able to know things with no real legitimate reason.
He told her that he used to be able to tell what color of underwear his third grade teacher Mrs. Sharleen Tumblefair was wearing.
In fact, after Siddy, correctly told the class the color of Mrs. Tumblefair's underwear for four days in a row, she talked to the principal and had him removed from her classroom and put in the classroom of Mr. Vernon Nogbaker.
SIDENOTE: Needless to say little Siddy was not happy in Mr.Nogbaker's class, because, suddenly there was no challenge. All of Mr. Nogbaker's underwear were white.
