Written by P.M. Wortham

Tuesday, 19 January 2010

image for Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt, Who Cares
Barbie, she's not.

Still managing to garner a portion of the daily entertainment news cycle with weekly attempts to one-up themselves on the previous week's pabulum, Heidi Montag is in the news again because she might be "addicted to plastic surgery".

The mere statement is causing some news organizations to swarm around the couple while rebuttals are offered from Montag in professionally prepared hair and makeup and a red carpet ready gown. Handlers are quick to join the fray denouncing the idea and keeping the quote mill running. "Of course she's not addicted" one handler suggested. "It was only 10 procedures in 10 hours, that's all".

Barely noticeable on an MTV drama some years ago, Montag and hubby Pratt have been seeking the spotlight since separating from the show. Included in their limited pool of screen credits, is an unremarkable performance in "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me out of Here", where their participation centered on grabbing as much camera time as possible. Celebrity? One begs to differ.

Montag seems to have grabbed more attention from a spread in Playboy, clearly to feature her intellectual side, and an attempt at a song release a few weeks ago that didn't go anywhere. Now it's the "addiction" spin cycle.

While common sense prevails for most people who might fail at a particular career choice, Montag and Pratt have not moved on to the next opportunity. Instead we'll look for them on the next season of "Celebrity Apprentice", where they can be fired on the first episode for being self-centered or most likely, just plain stupid.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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