Written by P.M. Wortham

Friday, 15 January 2010

image for Reality Stars Pissgums and McBriars Split After Pocono Debackle
The Pissgums in the Poconos, where poking was a no-no.

America's favorite conjoined twin, reality TV couple will call it quits after their return from an impromptu (but scripted) trip to an adult centric theme resort in the Pocono Mountains. Rachel and Mary Catherine McBriar and the Pissgum Twins have announced that they will split, though not literally, from both their cable network contract as well as each other.

Friends close to the couples were surprised by their agreement to go to the adult destination despite the contracted story line, given the conservative Catholic upbringing of the McBriars. "The girls wouldn't be caught dead, or naked in a place like that, unless the money was pretty good." says grade school friend Cindy Mankave. "The nuns at Our Lady of Corporal Punishment were great at dispensing guilt".

Mr. and Mrs. and Mr. and Mrs. Pissgums arrived at the Glory Cave Resort sometime around 4:00 PM yesterday, and met for an exclusive dinner at the resort's mountain view restaurant an hour later. While show producers had pre-ordered strawberries, champagne, oysters and anything else they could identify as an afrodisiac, they stacked the deck with a healthy dose of Viagra mixed in the twice-baked potatoes.

The evening continued with a game of Twister, a bottle of chilled Patron and a warm bottle of extra virgin olive oil.

Thanks to adequate lubrication both inside and out, a spin of "Left Hand Red", and a pair of kickstands on the Pissgum twins, two sets of conjoined bodies fell on each other in one heaping pile of arms and legs. It was then when the girls demanded that the cameras be turned off.

All that was disclosed to producers the following morning, is that an incident occurred that led to the permanent separation of both couples.

That was the official story until one of the camera men admitted to letting one camera record the evening's festivities. The couples had aparently chosen their respective spouses based on how they lined up when facing each other. That proved to be convenient for indoor sports including the missionary or the "ride-em-cowboy" position in the bedroom. Apparently, according to the cameraman, the couples had never tried eating at "Diner 69" before that evening.

It appeared as if all had enjoyed themselves during the evening but the girls awoke in horror upon the realization that they had been servicing each other's man. The Pissgum twins on the other hand just looked at each other, fist bumped, and then called for room service.

The McBriar Twins leff the Pissgums behind in disgust, leaving them to deal with show produces and threats of contract breach.

The final episode of "A Twin Too Many" will air next week on the Spoof Channel with special voice overs by William Shatner.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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