NEW YORK CITY - A spokesperson for MTV Barry F. Colquitt has revealed that he recently received an email that was signed by three of New York City's Cosa Nostra bosses.
The three organized crime Mafiosos were identified as Giovanni Fabrosini, Vito Monterubbiano, and Salvatore Goombalini.
Colquitt said that the three gentlemen were very polite and humbly requested that his station cancel the remaining episodes of the TV reality show Jersey Shore.
Sal Goombalini who heads up the Goombalini family said that the show is extremely derogatory and inflammatory towards Americans of Italian descent.
He said that it shows them in a bad light due to their constant fighting, cussing, disrespecting pizzas, and stealing each others women.
Goombalini also said that all of the shows Italian men drink too much, smoke too much, and carry stiletto knives.
And regarding the women, they wear way too much makeup, especially eyeliner, go braless, and say stupid Italian cliches like, "Hey Vinnie, ju wanna dat I giva you a (blanka) job" and "Renzo wadda ju say abouta me lettin' ju suck onna my (blanks) till da friggin sun comes uppa huh?"
The three Mob Mafiosos also wrote that Jersey Shore makes their home state of New York look bad by insinuating that New Jersey's pollution is caused by industrial waste, medical waste, toxic waste, haste makes waste, and human waste that comes from the Big Apple.
Colquitt emailed Fabrosini, Monterubbiano, and Goombalini back and told them that he appreciated their concern and that he would have to think about it and get back with them, but that chances are that the show will most probably continue in the same fashion.
Fabrosini emailed Colquitt back and he included a picture of the bottom of the Jersey River. Underneath the photo was a capiton that read: The bottom of the Jersey River - Future home of the late and stupid Barry F. Colquitt. (signed) G. Fabrosini, V. Monterubbiano, and S. Goombalini. P.S. We a-really hate it whena people don't a-listen to us!!!
Colquitt wrote Fabrosini back and told him that the show has been cancelled effective immediately and he asked him if it would be okay with him and his two associates if they could replace it with the 10-part series entitled, Hip Hop in America and How It Is Helping Detroit's Messed Up As Hell Economy.
Fabrosini emailed him back and said: Go for it and if a-you should ever need a special favor justa email me Vito or Salvatore. Ju are a-one smart dude Barry boy.
In related news. MTV executives have stated that starting in March, the former Jersey Shore time slot will be replaced by the new reality show California Coast, which deals with the surfing grandkids of the musical band The Beach Boys.
