Even Spoof writers cannot conceive of today's reality.
British King-In-Waiting Peter, Lord Mangleson (who is presently solving the world's global warming crisis) has declared that, if all males marry other males, the worldwide bee shortage will quickly be resolved.
Currently kicking his heels as British Secretary for Business and Minister With A Finger In Every Pie, the Dark Lord awaits his Red Dragon moment - The Revelation.
Having disposed of Tony Bliar as an irrelevance except as a witness to the Iraq War enquiry and having sidelined Gordon Brown as an irrelevance to any enquiry, "Our Pete" - as he loves to be addressed by all and sundry, awaits the call to his destiny.
Unfortunately his destiny includes a few years in jail - for expenses and mortgage fiddling, some more years in jail for refusing to grant Jeremy Clarkson a knighthood, and many years of suffering with septic haemmerhoids.