Was Tiger Woods Wreck A Suicide Attempt?

Funny story written by Bureau

Wednesday, 16 December 2009


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"The Grim Hooker"

After Tiger Woods doctor being taken into custody in Canada earlier and now the possibility that the Feds may be looking into legal action after hearing that a prostitute was flown to the Tiger by a sponsor, some are beginning to wonder about the accident that set all this off.

A friend of Tigers says that he had gotten deeply depressed as he had gotten more and more involved with these women. He stated that Tiger has used extremely bad judgment over the past couple of years.

According to the friend, who asked not to be identified, "although Tiger will know who it is if he reads this", Tiger's childhood was a lot about golf, much as child actors are about the stage as they grow up. They have a hard time when not doing the things that they know how to do.

"It's like they miss that whole part of growing up. Just look at all the screwed-up people in music, movies, TV and sports when they have been doing the same thing ever since they were kids. They haven't had a chance to grow up."

So what does he think about Tiger now?

"He should go on Oprah and tell everything. That's what he should have done a good while ago. Quit the slow bleeding and get it all out at once."

"Let loose a big fart or two! heh heh. If he don't he's going to shit, sure enough!"

"I'll still be his friend and most of his fans will support him. Nobody's perfect. They have problems too."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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