Sharon Osbourne Apologizes For Calling Susan Boyle A "Slapped Ass"

Funny story written by Bureau

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

image for Sharon Osbourne Apologizes For Calling Susan Boyle A "Slapped Ass"

Sharon Osbourne has told Susan Boyle, the one she called "A Hairy Asshole" on the Opie and Anthony show, that she was sorry and that she just got carried away with the guys.

The apology came on Facebook: "Susan Boyle is a lovely gracious woman and I took advantage of that by poking fun at her. I would never want to be responsible for hurting Susan and I must apologize for getting a cheap laugh at her expense."

She then allegedly told her friends who were with her that they had witnessed the apology, that they could see that she had written it herself and not someone in her name.

"I'm tired of playing the wicked witch", she told them as one related it later.

"The old cow deserves her fame and fortune. They've had the vets in and she now looks like a double for Elton John."

Later, she told her friends that the whole thing brought a lot of pressure on her to apologize and now she had.

"Some people can't take a joke. Around the Osbourne family she would not last a day."

Later Sharon reportedly told the same friend, that at least Susan had the good sense not to marry a brain-dead husband.

"I could have the same people fix him up to look like a male model but we'd need another Igor to get him another brain."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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