Her Majesty the Queen has stamped her seal of approval on AC/DC singer, Brian Johnson's decision to join forces with depleted boyband 'Boyzone'.
Buckingham Palace today held a press conference, at which members of the UK media were told to 'shut the f**k up'.
This was obviously not going to be any normal press conference.
Some smart bastard in a red uniform with a pie on his head mounted the raised dais, and informed the waiting reporters that he was a 'Beefeater'. He went on to inform his spellbound audience that he hadn't taken any shit off the fuzzy wuzzys, and wouldn't be taking any off them either. They were to sit upright, hands on knees and listen. Then they were to f**k off, Right?
Right.
A suited flunkey then walked up to a gold plated microphone, mumbled something in what sounded like German, which most of the gathered thought was appropriate under the circumstances, and passed around squares of yellowed parchment on which was written in illuminated script.
"Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth, rightful Teutonic monarch of this Island nation, does today offer her congratulations to loyal subject and committed Geordie, Mr Brian Johnson, on his elevation from sordid back street rocker to musical luminary.
Her Majesty and His Royal Highness, Philip the Greek have long been admirers of Mr Johnson's work, and are pleased to see him dragged from the relative obscurity of semi-professionalism with Antipodean shuffle group, AC/DC, to the entertainment zenith that awaits him amongst the ranks of super group, Boyzone. We are confident that he is more than capable of filling the late Stephen Gately's shoes, if not his trousers."
Yours
ER
Ps 'For those about to croon. We salute you.'"
The media was then ushered from the room by soldiers with fixed bayonets.
This reporter for one is concerned about the world that his children will inherit.
