A boy with a mental age of five received a personal message from the Queen, after she found a balloon he had released.
Charlie Windsor was one of about 50 hopefuls who had released balloons from their stately homes across England, with tags attached to them saying: 'One has let this balloon go in the hope that the finder of it will retire and make one King.' The Queen came across it near her Berkshire Castle - Fire Insurance Towers - when she was walking her pack of Siberian wolves.
A letter from Fire Insurance Towers said: 'We found your balloon in our garden - Berkshire - and promptly jumped on it with our walking boots to burst it! How we laughed at that, but then we saw your tag. We will be living until we are at least 131, Charles, or some such high darts out score, and we have no intention of retiring at all.'
'So kindly bugger of and blether pish about plants and such tommyrot to your ghastly wife, Caramella Barker-Ffoals. P.S. Your father tells me to tell you you're a pain in the arse, and when will you be getting a job? E.R.'
Fifteen balloons made it as far as France, where they were promptly guillotined and turned into a nice sauce to go with horse meat.
