Beatles Pedophile Songs Banned by RIAA

Funny story written by NickFun

Friday, 2 October 2009


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Ringo, and the rest of The Beatles, have been accused of promoting sex with undersage girls

Several early Beatles hits have been banned from the airwaves, download music sources and music store shelfs for promoting sex with underage girls, according to a press release from the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA).

Among the Beatles hit to be banned include "Little Child", "I Saw Her Standing There" and Ringo Starr's hit from the 70's called "You're 16, You're Beautiful and You're Mine".

"These songs are a disgrace!" exclaimed RIAA spokesperson Alicia Snodgrass. "Songs like these have no place in a free society!"

Snodgrass played some of the songs back for Unconfirmed Sources. The song "Little Child" begins with the lyrics "Little child, little child, little child won't you dance with me? I'm so sad and lonely. Baby take a chance with me", indicating that the Beatles promoted sex with prepubescent girls.

"I Saw Her Standing There" begins with "she was just 17, you know what I mean?". The age of consent in most states is 18.

Starr's hit single "You're 16, You're Beautiful and You're Mine" contains the lines "you walked out of my dreams and into my car" as well as "ooh when we kissed, I could not stop" indicating that Ringo promoted kidnapping and statutory rape.

"I don't care if they've got a nice beat", Snodgrass said with a scowl. "They are corrupting society!"

Music promoter Hal Goldstein said "there was once a time in this country when pop idols and musicians had sex with young girls. Jerry Lee Lewis married his first cousin when she was only 13 and he was 23".

Sir Paul McCartney stated that the charges against him and the other surviving Beatle Ringo were ludicrous. "They're songs about young love. Just shut the f-k up", he stated.

There were a few other Beatles songs that referenced having sex with underage girls but I can't think of them now.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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