Bono broke down when he heard the news of Michael Jackson's passing.
"He did what"? "He had a doctor inject pain killer into his bloodstream"? "WTF is that about"?
Thus the famous singer and saviour of the world greeted Jackson's death amidst tears of laughter.
Choking back the hilarity, Bono made reference to Jackson's claim to the title of "Most Famous Dead Pop Singer" and confirmed his suspicion that Jackson's demise is in some way connected to the recent murder of David Carradine.
In this reporter's opinion Bono has made this statement only so that the above headline can be printed.