Robert Pattinson's Old Girlfriend Is Attacked

Funny story written by howy

Sunday, 21 June 2009


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Melissa breaking down during the interview

Robert Pattinson's old girlfriend Melissa Huckaby, who sang the song "I'm every woman" by Witney Huston in the Tyra Banks show, is violently attacked in prison by man hungry lesbians.

In a television interview Melisa Huckaby claims she was brutally attacked over three thousand four hundred and twenty times by opportunistic lesbians behind prison walls.

She said she was first attacked in her prison cell by six lesbians who tried to use hit up lines on her. One lesbian told her, "Fuck me, I'm beautiful," and another said, "I'm wet. Are you hard?"

The next day she was attacked by four different lesbians while she was in the shower. The leader of the lesbian gang told her, "You're dead handsome. Get in my pussy!"

Melissa said, "I've been living a horrible lesbian nightmare since I've been in prison." Every day and every night is a lesbian encounter with women. There are over four thousand women in prison and they go into heat by the hour.

She says the smell of fish served at the cafeteria makes her so sick she has vomited on two occasions.

The lesbians constantly make her eat fish rot, and she jumped off the railings on the second floor of the prison trying to injure herself so she could be taken to the hospital and away from the lesbians.

She claims the lesbians made her finger bang their crotches so many times she smashed her fingers using the weight of her bed to discourage the lesbians from any further attacks.

After talking to Warden Ann Henry about the problem, Ann told our news team, "If you can't do the time then don't do the crime."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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