Pattinson And Stewart Work Out Problem Together

Funny story written by Bureau

Wednesday, 10 June 2009

image for Pattinson And Stewart Work Out Problem Together

After Robert Pattinson was caught in a compromising position with stunt-double Heather O'Brien recently, things almost got out of hand, admit the "Twilight" couple.

"I've talked all this over with Robert and then I had a good talk with Heather and it seems like the press, as usual, made a big thing out of nothing", Kristen Stewart told several people from the press, while sitting alongside Pattinson. "No hard feelings with you guys because you are just doing your job. But people DO want some privacy sometimes."

"What we've decided to do", stated Pattinson, "is to quit all the cat & mouse games and just come out and have a talk with you guys. That should quell the rumors, at least most of them. Although I have to admit that the game of Hide & Seek was fun for awhile."

Asked if there was ever anything between him and Heather O'Brien, Pattinson stated, "Not really. I can only answer for myself but she has admitted that SHE kissed me, not the other way around. It really caught me by surprise and then to look up and see that reporter standing there was another surprise. So the very first thing I did was call Kristen and tell her what happened."

"I've since talked with Heather", stated Kristen. "I think she thought I would be furious but after listening to Robert, I just considered it one of those things that happen on the spur of the moment."

Asked if they were still friends, Kristen stated "I don't think we were ever exactly friends. Most of the time we were too busy filming. The one thing I'll say for her is that she did not deny that she saw a chance and she took it. She said that she and Robert had been around each other quite a bit lately, with our paparazzi dodge and all at once she wanted to kiss him and she did. She could have told me all kinds of things like it being an accident, etc. but she told the truth. She's fascinated with the same guy that I am."

What happens next?

"Well, she has resigned from doing the stunts and that was entirely on her own", stated Pattinson. "She was paid well and she doesn't want anymore news overshadowing the "Twilight" movies. She had already completed the next one so she'll get some billing. Maybe this will be her break, I don't know."

"Well, "Twilight" gave us ours", stated Stewart. "Now we're leaving and no more Cat & Mouse. But wasn't it fun?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more