Robert Pattinson Fights Back!

Funny story written by Bureau

Thursday, 18 June 2009

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Bruises: Fake, Real Or Both?

Hollywood reporters in New York City reported Tuesday that Robert Pattinson was caught on camera with several bruises on his face that are supposed to be a special make-up job for his new movie, "Remember Me".

However, some are now asking if the make-up job is covering some real bruises in a backstage brush up with one Wayne Oliver, who security guards are said to have been escorted off the movie lot.

So who is Wayne Oliver?

The Inquisitor has learned that he is the boyfriend or former boyfriend of Heather O'Brien, who voluntarily left the Twilight series as a double for Kristen Stewart after being caught by a reporter planting as big kiss on Pattinson.

Tuesday's press release reads: "Sporting fake cuts and bruises, the "Twilight" stud sported a blue shirt and a backpack as he chatted with the people on the New York City set, smiling and laughing often."

Also unexplained is a comment by Robert Pattinson that a photographer said he overheard that went something like, "I guess I'm going to have to take a self-defense course, although I hate that kind of stuff. A real vampire wouldn't need it." and laughed.

Why the comment?

An extra who asked not to be identified, stated that "There was some kind of dust-up backstage..a lot of yelling by someone and then a couple of crashes. Of course it could have been a part of the movie but I don't think so. Too much tension afterward."

Were the bruises real or make-up? Perhaps both.

When seen later the bruises were almost completely gone.

Either somebody did a rush job on clean up or a few were real, especially around the knuckles.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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