War breaks out in ISS over toilets

Funny story written by IN SEINE

Tuesday, 31 March 2009

image for War breaks out in ISS over toilets
Only two toilets!

Unbeknown to many, the cold war continues in The International Space Station. The original vision of the ISS was one of a place where astronauts would share food and facilities, with other 'nauts' in heavenly bliss. Alas, the Russians and Americans cannot agree on how to share toilet facilities.

Veteran cosmonaut, Gennady Padalka, told In Seine News; "The lack of sharing was lowering the crew's morale and the problem was due to the ISS becoming a more commercial operation. Since 2003, Moscow started billing Washington for sending its astronauts into space and other nations have begun to respond in kind."

"This is all beginning to get out of hand or should I say out of 'bottom'. I remember the days when we used work in harmony, conducting space experiments and sharing food rations. We used to borrow their NASA pens and they used to borrow our pencils made from the finest of Faberge Fir trees. However, the atmosphere is changing rapidly ever since we have allowed billionaire 'space tourists' to invade our space."

I don't know what the Americans have got to hide, but I suspect that their toilet is so full of 'crap', that they are simply embarrassed to allow us to go in there. Something smells and I don't like it! Perhaps they are developing a top-secret gas in there with which they could destroy the world. Who knows?

There are two toilets on the space station at the moment - one being the gents and the other is the ladies. We have to use the ladies at the moment - it is a good job there are no ladies on board at present otherwise we would have to wait for hours there and - do you know how long they take?

The cosmonauts are taking desperate measures by hiding the toilet rolls from the Americans until they can reach an agreement.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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