Producers of Big Brother have confirmed that, in a radical new twist, one of the contestants for this summer's tenth series will be completely normal. They are straight, happily married with children, work in an office, have no mental illness or other notable afflictions, and dress sensibly.
A BB insider told us, "We're really pushing the boat out with this one. We may well offend some viewers but you can't stand still in this business and you do have to take risks."
Former contestant, bi-sexual, amputee, dwarf Tourette sufferer Milo Strange told us, "A lot of people will find this really offensive. It's clearly a desparate attempt to improve the ratings. I don't think I'll be watching. Now %!@$ off!"
