Written by Bureau

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

image for Woman On Commode Two Years, Back At It!

Back in Nest City, Kansas the woman who had sat on a commode in the bathroom for two years was back at it again.

Nest County Sheriff Brian "Barstool" Whitaker said they got a telephone call from a different guy than last time and the man told the police that his friend had went into the bathroom and has refused to come out for the past week.

Although this time it was no two-year marathon, after a few days the friend went back and checked some stories at the library from the past year and discovered that this was the very same woman and that she was at it again. So he came back and tried to coax her out but finally decided that he's better call the police.

"I've tried everything", stated 43-year-old Lester Baine Anderson. "Every time she'd come up with a different kinda excuse. First, it was the alligators would get out of the sewer and eat her. Next, she said she was trying to finish reading a book and that she's been to Mexico lately and the water from there had just now kicked in. Finally, yesterday she said she was hooked on meth and was giving herself a meth enema."

"That's when I called you guys."

The Sheriff told reporters that at least her skin hadn't grown to the commode like that last time. He also stated that he thought the lady had "worked that all out" with a head-shrinker.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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