Written by Bluebella

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

image for Michael Jackson's Mementos Go Under the Hammer
Jackson's ferris wheel is one of a kind, folding up to a mere 5cm

Some call it a Freak Show, some call it a Treasure Chest - either way, Michael Jackson's mementos are going under the hammer this Saturday at the Beverley Hills Community Centre in Beverley Hills, CA. Proceeds are to go to the starving children of Beverley Hills.

One of the many kooky items up for sale is a real talking plant. The plant says "weeeh!, weeeh!", when you scratch its leaf and giggles if you pull its flower.

Another of the fascinating items is a jacket made entirely of pubic hair, not any old pubic hair but the pubic hair of Michael's ex wife Lisa Marie Presley, containing real Presley DNA. It has been weaved together to create a tight, waterproof material.

There's also a permanent face painting kit, with white paint only - made from the finest of pearls from the South Pacific. The compact kit comes with a 38 foot 3D mirror. Jackson used the kit on a daily basis and bits of his nose are said to be found engrained into the kit, if looked at through a magnifying glass.

Another great treasure for sale is a nail bomb that Jackson put together as a teenager, when he was going through his "I want to be a suicide bomber when I grow up" stage. Thankfully, he decided to be a singer or this sensational item wouldn't be up for grabs and the world would have been deprived of a great talent.

The most expensive item to be found at the auction is a fold up Ferris Wheel, about the size of the London Eye when fully expanded, but so compact, it can fold up to just the size of a match box. Back in the eighties, Jackson took the fold-up Ferris Wheel with him everywhere he went, and would often run off after a stressful concert to secretly pop out the wheel for a quick ride. The wheel is thought to be snapped up within a few minutes of going under the hammer for around about £321,000.20.

Hook-handed preacher of hate, Abu Hamza, is banned from attending the auction, as is the equally dangerous Wildlife Conservationist David Attenborough. Officials banned the couple after insiders expressed their concern at the presence of a dangerous bomb and a unique plant.

Jackson himself will not be present at the auction.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more