Warrant Issued For Lindsay Lohan

Funny story written by Bureau

Saturday, 14 March 2009

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"Better Give Her Plenty Of Room"

A $50,000 warrant was issued for 22-year-old starlet Lindsay Lohan Friday the 13th, stemming from her May 2007 DUI arrest during a Memorial Day weekend that culminated in still another trip to rehab for the star of Freaky Friday.

"In response to media inquiries, the Beverly Hills Police Department is confirming a warrant was in fact issued for the arrest of Lindsay Lohan," said department spokesman Lt. Mark Rosen, early Saturday.

"The $50,000 warrant issued by the Beverly Hills Superior Court stems from a May 2007 arrest of Miss Lohan for DUI and hit-and-run. The circumstances leading to the issuance of the warrant by the court are not readily available at this time. It is our hope that Miss Lohan will surrender herself so that this matter will be resolved in a timely manner."

Off the record, Lt. Rosen reportedly stated, "All you have to do is follow her around whenever she drives. It's like shooting fish in a barrel. See if you can get the word out that it's not necessary for everyone to call 911 at the same time as it jams out lines. Maybe, if a group of you see her out there weaving around, you could have a designated caller."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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