Lilo, Madge & Paris To Star In Nude BBC Production

Funny story written by E.L.Wisty

Wednesday, 19 November 2008


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Mr Darcy's house "Pemberley".

Head of entertainment at the BBC Sir Alec Douglas Hume has announced a new version of Jane Austen's Classic "Pride and Prejudice".

"The public just cant get enough of this classic tale" said Mr Hume, "So we intend to do another version using an international cast with some major surprises".

The new 20 part series will be filmed on location in Derbyshire using exactly the same settings as the previous versions but with new costumes.

There was some criticism of the 'frumpy' dresses worn by the Bennett daughters in the previous version and the producers are determined to 'Sex them up a bit' this time around.

Chief wardrobe designer Dame Elisabeth Emmanuel said "With people like Madonna and Paris Hilton in the cast we will be really going to town in the costume department, no expense will be spared"

There will also be several controversial nude scenes in the production a move which has angered Jane Austen purists.
Miss Primly Proper of the Jane Austen Society was aghast at the nude scenes revelation.

"My society will be protesting strongly to the BBC about this, it's tantamount to sacrilege. People just didnt have sex in those days",she continued "and if they did it was fully clothed".

But Mr Hume was unrepentant saying the BBC has to move with the times,"After all it is 2008, or is it 2007?" he

"We're expecting a huge international audience particularly from America who love all things English, and they will enjoy seeing some of their own personalities in the production." added Mr Home.

The all star cast is as follows:

Mr Darcy - Alan Rickman,
Mr Bennett - Chris Tarrant,
Mrs Bennett - Dawn French,
Elisabeth Bennett - Madonna
Jane Bennett - Kate Moss
Lydia Bennett - Paris Hilton,
Kitty Bennett - Lindsey Lohan
Mary Bennett - Anne Robinson
Charles Bingley - Prince William
Caroline Bingley - Condoleeza Rice
Mr Wickham - Major James Hewitt,
Reverend Collins - Richard Dawkins,
Charlotte Lucas - Harriet Harman
Lady Catherine De Bourgh - Hillary Clinton
Georgina Darcy - Billie Piper,
Colonel Fitzwilliam - Prince Charles.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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