Michael Lohan Disowns Daughter Lindsay over "Colored" Gaff

Written by P.M. Wortham

Wednesday, 12 November 2008

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The Priceless Interviews Continue for Stupid Celebrities

Reacting to Lindsay Lohan's recent interview gaff about the election of Barack Obama to the highest office in the land, father Michael Lohan has officially severed all ties to his daughter.

Between stints of jail time, Michael Lohan has been known to pander to the press for a self-proclaimed relationship with the daughter who won't return his calls. Now he claims, "Her actions sicken me and she should be ashamed for calling that nice Negro man, Colored".

Reporters were quick to spot the tree from which the apple had recently fallen, and questioned the senior Mr. Lohan about his true feelings on race relations in the U.S. as well as his own child rearing techniques. "I taught my daughter better than that", Lohan says. "She knows the politically correct terms include 'those blacks' or 'Africans', but there she goes blurting out something stupid to the press. I just don't understand where she gets it."

Proving to be a venerable sound-bite machine, Lohan continued to embarrass himself without truly knowing he was doing so, until reporters ran out of space on their digital recorders. At that point they left Lohan on the street corner and walked away.

One New York headline followed the interview. "The Lohan Family Gives Trailer Trash a Bad Name".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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