Breakout Album by Miley Cyrus to Distance Her from Hannah Montana Image

Funny story written by Throckmorton Turdblossom

Monday, 21 July 2008


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image for Breakout Album by Miley Cyrus to Distance Her from Hannah Montana Image
Miley sings that the backseat of this car is just too small and it "ain't no fun."

Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus wants to distance herself even further from her squeaky clean, Disney Channel image. She begin this move recently with her sheet wearing Vanity Fair pictures. She will continue it with her soon to be released album titled "Breakout." Miley is a crossover artist with success on the country, POP, and rock charts.

In an interview, the 15 year old star said that "everyone wants to put me in this little sweet and innocent box and I am ready to let them know that I am not a little girl anymore. I'm a woman now and I want the world to treat me as such.

The album will feature her latest number one hit on the country, rock, and POP charts, "Lube Me Up and Let's Head To Town." Miley had already sold the rights to this song to KY Jelly to use in their next advertising campaign.

Another hit from "Breakout" is "Let's Get to the Lovin' and Start a Bun in the Oven." This song is intended as a public service announcement and will try to curb the current teen pregnancy problems.

Songs on her album will also include the following titles (with comments by Cyrus following the titles):

  • It Ain't Rainin', But You Get Me All Wet ("I can't wait to start filming the video for this one. Lot's of guys have volunteered to do camera work for it.")
  • Sorry, I'm Late ("We all have to face this scare sometime.")
  • If You Ain't Never Done This Before, Then Where'd You Learn to Unhook a Bra? ("This actually happened to me last summer with a college guy.")
  • The Backseats of Sub-Compact's Ain't No Fun ("SUV's and full size van's are stil the best.")
  • Momma and Daddy Put Me on The Pill ("They said it would give me shorter periods and that it was just in case.")
  • I Done It With the Whole Team, But I'm Still a Virgin With You ("Making the video for this one wore me out and got me real sore for weeks.")
  • The Many Ways My Daddy Loves Me ("All Southern girls should identify with this song.")
  • Whose Panties Are These in the Glove Box? ("This is a real heartfelt, emotional break up song.")
  • They Ain't Hickies, Momma, They're Badges of Love ("I really think it's best not to get hickies on your neck cuz your folks can see 'em. Besides, they're funner under the clothes anyway!")
  • They Say 15 Will Get You 20, But I Won't Tell If You'll Risk It ("We had to film this one out of the country because of laws of consent or something.")

Pre-orders for the new album and a dvd of the videos are already shattering sales records among pre-teen girls and among registered sex offenders.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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