Written by Fergus McCarthy

Friday, 11 July 2008

image for Have U2 lost the edge?
Bono's reading glasses.

Rumours are circulating, being recycled and then recirculated again this evening in Dublin, where Irelands best known tax dodgers, rock group U2, are holed up in a recording studio adding the final touches to their latest album which is as yet untitled, and will remain so until Bono is crowned Emperor of Africa.

Producers Fr Brian Eno, Daniel Lanois and Steve Lilywhite have hailed the new album as U2's greatest yet and have been quick to nip rumours that U2 have lost the edge as 'Shite talk.'

"I dont know where this crap comes from I really dont." Snapped a clearly irritated Fr Eno as he emerged from a side door, apparently on an errand to buy milk and toilet roll.

"I've just had a cup of coffee with the Edge less than 15 minutes ago, he's in there playing with Larry.

"I know we lost Adam in Amsterdam a few years back but true to form he came back when we cancelled his credit card and I'll admit we nearly lost Larry to the Corr's last year but the idea of U2 losing the Edge is just absurd."

U2's new album is due for release after they have finished recording it, a tradition Larry is particularly proud of.

"We never release it until we've recorded it, we've always done it that way and It works for us."

Prominent artists and musicians such as Noel Gallagher, Girls aloud, Richard Clayderman and The Wiggles have all collaborated on the easy listening soft jazz collection.

Oasis frontman Noel Gallagher has gone on record as saying that working on the album has been an honour.

"It's just their music, yeah'?" Gallagher enthused on Channel 4 racing last week. "The showmanship, the lyrics, y'know? The sheer energy they put in to their gigs.

"The Beatles might be legends but these guys are living legends.

"These 4 lads have been selling out stadiums for years and there's no one that can match them or catch them. In my opinion, they're the ultimate super group.

"I love the Wiggles me."

The edge is still missing.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Music, U2

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