Kigali, Rwanda - (Diabolical Ass Mess): Thousands of endangered species list mammals including the fabled Rwandan gorillas are preparing to flee their World Wildlife Fun protectorate sanctuaries following the announcement that pointless peroxide celeb Paris Hilton is staging a visit to the African country.
"I'm just planning on using my celebrity status to bring a little cheer and goodwill to all those simian mammals in Africa's maximum security confines," Hilton said today.
"There's so much potential for milking attention in that area," Hilton continued.
"And I'm pretty certain that if I go it will bring me loads more attention than here in LA."
But Rwanda's Ministry of Animal Welfare in Kigali reported that over 2,000 of the country's endangered gorillas had been seen fleeing over the border to the People's Democratic Republic of Congo "rather than provide a sick side-show for this LA poster-child for corruption," according to diplomatic sources.
Hilton's PR aides however would not be put off by the news and stated that their client "wants to visit more countries where poverty and children's issues are a big headline-grabber.
"Ms Hilton knows there's a lot of good publicity going begging just by getting involved in a photo shoots with impoverished Africans and dumb animals."