Christina Aguilera has announced that she and her husband (whose name is not important as no one remembers it anyway and she only married for his looks) are expecting their first baby. No due date has been announced, but it is guessed that the child will be born early in 2008.
When asked how it felt to be pregnant, Aguilera said, "I don't know cuz I ain't gettin' fat and ugly and vomiting every morning and havin' stretch marks and eatin' weird crap! We's doin the test tubey surrogate thang. I found some skanky ho to carry this fo me soes I doesn't has to lose my figger."
In a related story, Britney Spears, who recently announced that she is broke, told reporters today that she has come into some money and that she is carrying a child, but that it is not hers "because it's a Mickey Mouse thing."