Jessica Simpson Drops Twenty Pounds in Dramatic Weight Loss

Funny story written by Throckmorton Turdblossom

Sunday, 1 July 2007

image for Jessica Simpson Drops Twenty Pounds in Dramatic Weight Loss
Jessica gets a "F" for original thought and a "D" for cup size in her latest move

Actress and Hollywood personality Jessica Simpson has lost twenty pounds and is looking fit, trim, hot, and happy. The blonde bombshell is also smiling again for the first time since a recent break-up with a former boy toy.

When asked how she managed to lose that much weight off an already tight figure, the woman not known for her smarts (thinking that chicken of the sea was really chicken and that buffalo really had wings) responded with a "huh?"

Interviews with her publicists discovered that Jessica lost the pounds by having a lobotomy. Her "thought" was that she never used the gray matter anyway, pictures of brains looked "icky," and that if she lost some pounds in her head, she could easily bear the weight of more hair.

After all, how much brains does it take to look beautiful. be rich, and act stupid? Just ask Paris and Britney, obvious other participants in this same surgery!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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