Though Al Gore won the popular vote in 2000, his recent popularity has really gotten to the President, according to an inside source. Bush apparently feels slighted by his one-time rival's Academy Award and Nobel Peace Prize nomination.
"I want Rove to get a film crew together and have 'em start filming me talking about global warring," said the President. "Then have him get me one of those NOBEL prizes--peace, literature, medicine, economics--I don't care which one. And while we're at it, let's throw in some dancing, so I win a Tony."
After a nanosecond of deep contemplation, he added, "Say, if Rove needs to pick up any states, have him give Katherine Harris and Ken Blackwell a call. Oh, and line up Latifah to present the awards to me. Mmm. She's a lotta brown sugar."
