Greenland To Buy Hawaii

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Friday, 9 January 2026

image for Greenland To Buy Hawaii
"I'll drink to that! There were many a voice I didn't hunt down!"

Well, why not? Both are islands surrounded by the North Sea and the Pacific. Both are absolute opposites. One, the voice of summer, and the other, though called Greenland, was the constant look and voice of winter. The new nation, though far apart, will in the future be known as Hawaiiland, or Greenwaii. Either one may be acceptable.

Venezuela begged to become part of the new Hawaiiland/Greenwaii nation, thus trying to escape Donald Trump’s oil overreach invasion. But, alas, too late.

Sad.

Though Trump can scarcely spell Venezuela (“It starts with a V…”) and, like the party game Pin The Tail On The Donkey, he'd probably fail to locate Venezuela on a map, even with eyes wide open.

Greenland? Donald Trump can locate. Same with Hawaii.

Hawaiiland/Greenwaii also boasted that it could be the permanent location (in perpetuity) for both the winter and summer Olympic Games.

Editor’s note: Good idea!

After Hawaiiland/Greenwaii’s announcement of the possibility of using their nation for both the summer and winter Olympic Games in perpetuity, Trump decided to rename the Olympic Games, The Donald J. Trump World Olympic Games.

Editor’s note: Get the straitjacket.

PostScript: While flying over Greenland one morning, headed toward Heathrow, looking down at bright white Greenland, centered in the middle of the brilliant sky-blue ocean, a flight attendant remarked that she once spotted a man all the way below driving a herd of reindeer through the snow.

A memorable male voice questioned, “Was he wearing a red suit?”

Alas, while savoring the comment, this writer failed to hunt him down and steal him away into her carry-on. FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS, was announced.

...but the memory lingers on.

Read more by this author:

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more