Putin Lost Ukraine War But Negotiates For Ukraine’s Unconditional Surrender?

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Tuesday, 18 March 2025

image for Putin Lost Ukraine War But Negotiates For Ukraine’s Unconditional Surrender?
"Once more, with feeling."

Of course, Donald Trump doesn’t know how to spell unconditional or surrender, much less the actual definition. Definition is another word Trump can’t spell. 

Wharton: See what you’ve done? Shame on you.

Putin is said to have repeated over and over again that “unconditional surrender” means a surrender where no guarantees or promises are given to the surrendering party, Ukraine, and leaving the victors Russia with complete control and freedom of action.

“Yeah, Putt-Putt, but little Ukraine cleaned your clock.”

Exasperated, Putin is said to have looked around the room for an open window, almost prepared to give up trying to explain the definition of unconditional surrender, when he finally said, “It’s like grabbing a woman by the pussy, and getting away with it.”

Then Trump replied, “Oh, I get it now. Yeah! I get it. Let’s go for it. And we can get away with it because we have all the media and Fox News. I like it. I like it.”

Putin, the former head of the KGB, regretted having to partner with such a turnip but felt Trump’s allegiance (another word Trump can't spell) was Putin's noble duty and the only way he could begin to rebuild the grand, old, majestic, world power Soviet Union that existed before Gorbachev.

However, once the wheels toward the old Soviet Union were rolling, he would confess that he, Putin, had fixed Trump’s 2016 and 2024 presidential victories. Putin could prove this, not because he was famous and could got away with it, but because he had all of the computer data.

"Then jail time for Trump!"

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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