Whatever Happened To J.D. Vance?

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Monday, 23 December 2024

image for Whatever Happened To J.D. Vance?
Not J.D.Vance.

What is right? Remember the hillbilly from Ohio that Donald Trump picked as his Vice President? The guy before Elon Musk? He had a beard and said women should remain in abusive, violent marriages because divorce affects the children.

He favors abortion restrictions and opposes exceptions for rape and incest. And he would also like to restrict contraception. 

This guy seems to be echoing the Monty Python song Every Sperm Is Sacred from the satire film The Meaning Of Life.

The difference here is J.D.Vance is not advancing satire.

Vance used to be the Vice president elect until Elon Musk came along and took over. Elon appears to have taken over the US presidency as well. While Donald Trump is fighting the hush money case before Judge Juan Merchan and trying to stay out of jail in New York, he’s also trying to stay out of jail in Georgia and Florida. 

Elon seems okay with Trump's distraction.

Meanwhile, that old stumbling, bumbling, absent-minded President Joseph Biden is turning the screws on Trump. Not only is he shutting off the electricity in the White House, he’s changing the locks. In what seemed like Seal Team 6 speed, President Biden has also secured confirmation of 235 US Federal Judges to the bench. 

And then there’s the House of Representatives. Dopey Donald Trump selected Republican House members for his Cabinet, shaving down the Republican majority but increasing the Democratic vote count. Sweet.

So, whatever happened to J.D. Vance? Is he busy measuring the windows for curtains, or did Elon send him up to the International Space Station?  

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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