LAREDO, Texas - (Satire Spoof) - Breaking News Bureau chief writer Cullen McPill has just broken the story that singing sensation Taylor "Tay-Tay" Swift and her boyfriend football sensation Travis "Boom-Boom" Kelce have signed the papers and America's most popular couple is now the proud owners of a Texas working cattle ranch.
The ranch is located 13 miles north of Laredo off of Interstate Highway 35, on Nolan Ryan Drive.
The sprawling 392,000 acre ranch named "The Down Under Ranch," was owned by an Australian billionaire, who originally purchased the ranch from San Antonio Spurs owner Peter Holt.
The ranch has a 9,000 square foot Hacienda-type luxurious mansion, equipped with a huge 3,000 square foot Old West style decor living room. It also has 8 bedrooms, 9 bathrooms, and a landing strip equipped for Lear jets.
"The Down Under" is home to 3,000 cattle. Since the owner was Australian, it is also home to 53 kangaroos, 97 koalas, 31 emus, 17 wombats, 14 dingos, and 7 wallabies.
SIDENOTE: Taylor and Travis will retain the expert ranch foreman services of Lorenzo Villagrande, who used to be the executive ranch foreman for the largest ranch in the entire world, The King Ranch, which covers one million acres and is located outside of Kingsville, Texas. ■
