HOLLYWOOD - (Satire Spoof) - Reporter Bougainvillea McShampoo with The Roving News Agency says some of Jennifer Lopez's friends agree that the singer, dancer, actress needs to be placed on suicide watch.
They describe J.Lo as looking stressed, haggard, worn out, and sad as the dickens.
Even the has-been singer of yesteryear, Madonna, who is not a fan of Lopez, stated that she hopes that the Puerto Rican from the Bronx checks herself into a rehab clinic and gets help for her addiction to sadness.
Meanwhile, J.Lo's husband, the unleveled and disheveled actor, who hasn't worked in a while, is looking dazed and confused.
He is still insisting that he just got tired of being married to a cougar, who wanted to run the show.
SIDENOTE: Kim Kardashian, who is a close friend of Jennifers, noted that J.Lo eating a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts a day is not the answer.■
