BROOKLYN - (Spoof Satire) - LaSabrina Windwater, senior reporter for The Brooklyn Bridge Times Newspaper, reveals that the nation's top mafioso, Salvatore Goombalini has told the TrumpTard that the Goombalini crime family is going to buy Trump Tower (and he adds that it is NOT negotiable).
The Goombalini crime family owns a bank in Manhattan, apartment complexes in Queens, and a security alarm company in the Bronx.
Windwater has said that Salvatore has talked about purchasing the 58-story building for the last two years.
The building stands 664¼ feet tall and is home to some of New York City's richest doctors, dentists, lawyers, high-class pimps, and Uber executives.
Trump Tower is valued at $135.9 million.
SIDENOTE: Ms. Windwater revealed that the mafia boss has offered to pay Trump $2.3 million. Trump reportedly said NO DEAL!!! and Goombalini said that he will accept the $2.3 million or else he may find himself visiting the minnows in the East River. ■
