Hollywood has been quick to grasp recent information from US Intelligence that a small yacht carrying six people is responsible for the Nordstream pipeline disaster.
Not yet confirmed, the account indicates a group of rogue Ukrainians and Russians rented a yacht and did the deed last September.
A crew of six--a captain, two divers, two assistant divers, and a female medical professional--pulled off this complex operation with sufficient amounts of explosives and de-compression machinery aboard.
Hollywood flew into a frenzy of joy at audience prospects for filming this epic from the War In Ukraine. But who would star?
President Zelensky of Ukraine immediately came forward for the part of captain, if the film made absolutely crystal clear that the State of Ukraine had in no way authorized the attack on the pipelines.
"These people were ROGUE," he said, voice rising. "Do you hear me?"
Hollywood producers then considered a daring move: what if the cast of the Seinfeld Comedy Show took the remaining parts?
Kramer falling off the boat while trying to don his diving gear, for example, entangling Jerry and George somehow (who would also fall off) while the yacht was swept into circles and in danger of foundering?
A producer stepped forward on this matter, having noticed Mr. Zelensky frowning. No, no, no. Dignity must be maintained.
The White House had also caught hold of this notion, and put forward vigorous protests while recommending Victoria Nuland for the female part.
Other producers then said absolutely not to the Victoria Nuland presence, while boiling down the Seinfeld contribution to "an Elaine Benes, who would be more appetizing."
Who then might be cast as the divers, to whom a great deal of camera time would obviously be given, especially in the underwater scenes.
The answer struck quickly and thunderously to make global headlines the following morning.
Tom Brady would lead the diving team, with Aaron Rodgers at a close second.
As to the back-up divers, some individuals with political flavor and seriousness would add to credibility.
Credibility had at last been brought forward by an executive at the movie studio doing the work.
"Is this scenario going to compete with Sy Hersh's account?" he asked.
Hence the need to complete the roles with sufficient gravitas.
Secretary of State Anthony Blinken will fill the first assistant diver role in this dignity capacity, and (a very daring move) Hunter Biden the second!
