NASHVILLE - (American Idol Satire) - Ryan Seacrest told a reporter for The Nashville Musical Mirror Newspaper that this season's group of young singers is the best he has seen in the shows 21 years.
Aiden Adain, 19, from Clover, South Carolina, sang the Celine Dion song, "Hey Fella Kiss My Lips Like They're Going Out of Style."
Luke Bryan said she nailed it, and noted that she had the biggest harmonica he had ever seen. Ryan Seacrest said that it weighed 9ΒΌ pounds.
Up next was 21-year-old first grade school teacher, Matt Wilson who sang the Byrds classic "Mr. Tambourine Man." Lionel Ritchie liked it as did Katy Perry, but Bryan said that although it was a nice class-participation ploy, he should have only had six of his first grade students accompany him with their tiny tambourines, instead of the 16 he brought with him.
Two of the kids started arguing loudly about what Katy's bra size was. (32-DD).
Jon Wayne Hatfield, from Goshen, Ohio sang an original song titled, "Hey Grandpa Ray, I Don't Care If You're Gay, Straight, or In Between, I Still Love You Like I Love My Grandma."
Katy cried and said that Grandpa Ray reminded her of ex-husband Russell Brand's gay parrot, Cisco Swish.
And the hottest, sexiest, most erotic singer of the night was J.Lo look-a-like Alessandra "Las Chi Chis" Aguirre, 20, who flew 17 hours from Lima, Peru.
She sang a song by Lady Gaga titled, "Hey Boy, I'm A Salad, You Wanna Nibble On My Croutons?"
Katy said that she has to stop showing so much fucking cleavage. Lionel had trouble putting two words together as his tongue was tied, and Luke expressed that he is happily married, but he admitted that if he wasn't he would do his best to sweep her off of her ample tits.
The show ended with Katy trying to do the splits, but one of her 7-inch imported Norwegian stiletto heels broke and she had to be taken to a nearby 24-Hour Emergency Clinic. Doctors said the cast on her left boob will most probably be removed within 8 to 10 days.
