LAS VEGAS - (Satire News) - The much awaited season 21 of "American Idol" kicked off with a huge bang in "Sin City."
The three judges Lionel "L-Rich" Richie, Katy "The Sexpot" Perry, and Luke "Ah Shucks Ma'am" Bryan were their usual fantabulous selves.
Katy, who is so damn funny she could easily be the next "Lucy Ricardo," screamed her ass off when she got bit on her left breast by a wayward woodpecker that had somehow sauntered into the judges room.
Luckily Luke had a bird net and he quickly caught the little 'pecker' (no pun intended).
There were some very, very good singers auditioning to be on the King of Singing Shows.
Hawaiian-born Lyric Medeiros entered the room and presented each judge with an official Hawaiian coconut.
She sang a self-penned song titled, "I Would Really, Really Love To Lei You."
A very red-faced good ol' boy Luke said that she sings with such lasciviously gosh darn meaning.
Lionel said that on a beauty scale of 1 to 10, she's a 12, and Katy said, "Hmmmm, I notice that you have a little scar on your left pinky."
This year's country music contestant fan favorite is 18-year-old Mississippi farm boy, Colin Stough who sang the Hank Williams classic "If You Were A Cow, And I Was a Bull, We'd Make A Whole Corral Full of Calves."
It was really quite good, but Lionel said that singing the song while sitting on top of a John Deere tractor was perhaps a bit too much.
21-year-old Michael Williams proved to be this year's Katy Perry crush. Katy said that he is so damn handsome that he makes Tom Cruise look like Sarah Huckabee.
He sang a song in French titled, "Ohh La La, I Would Love To Eat Some Grey Poupon Off Of Your Tummy."
Katy had to leave the room in a haste, after she got so friggin' excited that she actually peed in her J.Lo designer slacks.
SIDENOTE: American Idol host Ryan Seacrest, who lost 19 pounds and now resembles a stick pretzel without the salt, noted that this year's sponsors are Diet Dr. Pepper, Paul Bunyan Brand Condoms, M&M's and The Tesla 18-Wheeler Truck.
