NEW ORLEANS - (Satire News) - Tittle Tattle Tonight writer Pico de Gallo commented that "Anerican Idol" is one of America's most watched shows.
He noted that it is faithfuly watched by President Biden and First Lady Jill Biden, as well as by all of the five Kardashian sisters, Houston Astros super star Jose Altuve, Anderson Cooper, who sings along with all of the singers, Mr. and Mrs. Patrick Mahomes, Ringo Starr, and the entire population of El Segundo, California.
Contestant Lucy Love sang the Iron Butterfly song "In-A-Gadda-Vida" and she brought Katy Perry to tears. Lucy is 37, and she already has 14 kids ranging in age from 2 months to 16 years.
Lionel was so touched by her joy, spirit, and determination to lose at least 42 pounds that he wrote her a check for $700.
Sixteen-year-old blonde singer Haven Madison, truly impressed the three judges with her rendition of the 50s song, "Tequila."
Haven was accompanied by her father, who played the Tuba while wearing a "Biden in '24" cap.
Luke said he liked the arrangement, but suggested that she limit her yodeling, while Katy said that her father is one handsome-as-hell daddy.
The country of China was represented by San Francisco-born singer and harmonica player Bing Fu Fing, 15, who sang the old Herman's Hermits song, "Mrs. Brown You've Got A Lovely Daughter."
After he finished his song, Bing gave each one of the judges a box of Fortune Cookies, some frozen egg rolls, and a book about China titled, "China, The Country, Not The Dishes."
SIDENOTE: Ryan Seacrest says that one of the contestants [NAME WITHELD UPON HER REQUEST] had to drop out of the competition, when it was learned that she has been charged with illegally transporting immature goats across state lines.
