WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - One of the most outspoken Republicans in D.C., Marjorie Taylor Greene was slightly hurt (mostly her feelings) when she was viciously attacked while having dinner (by herself) at D.C.'s exquisite 5-star restaurant Chateau Brigitte Bardot.
Taylor Greene, is recently divorced and says that since the big "D" she has dated and been poked (fucked) by no less than a dozen very horny Republican senators, most of them she brags are married.
MTG, who some say looks a bit like fellow GOPette Ann Coulter, but only not as tall, not as intelligent, and not as riddled with cellulite on both of her freckled infested thighs, reportedly yelled like a scalded banshee when she was hit with the Lady Lips of Love Lemon Pie, that was imported from Paris, France.
The woman who assaulted Marjorie said that she did it to show the Republicans that they need to mend their fucked up ways and stop acting like they are always right, always politically correct, and always, always better than any other ethnic group including the Norwegians, the Cambodians, and the Pisagovians.
Meanwhile, Boom Boom News is reporting that Marjorie will not be pressing charges.
Info guru Andy Cohen learned that the reason is because, the attacker, whose initials are F.P. said that if Taylor Greene insists on pressing charges then she and four of her (F.P.s) sisters will go to her D.C. apartment and beat the ever-living shit out of her. ■
