NEW ORLEANS - (Satire News) - LaLaLand Daily writer Valerie Vistawood, has just announced that more people are watching ABC's "American Idol," that its competitors on CBS and NBC.
Vistawood notes that some of the leading US publications including Boom Boom News, BuzzFuzz, LaLaLand Daily, Bedroom Pillow Talk and Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres all emphasize that "AI" is the most wholesome show in the history of American Television.
They all point out that in the 21 years that the singing competition show has been on the air, there has never been any X-rated curse words uttered; not even one such as fuck, bastard, slut, bitch, whore, pussy, asshole, cervix, g-spot, tits, or even pee-pee.
The show's host Ryan Seacrest, who is 48, but looks 28, expressed that all contestants have to sign a "Non-Cuss Clause" which stipulates, that if the contestant utters a word from the American Idol List of 369 Curse Words, then that individual will be automatically disqualified, fined $400, and could possibly end up serving some jail time.
"American Idol" is the favorite show of Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez, Paul McCartney, all five of the Kardashian sisters, Jose Altuve, Ivanka Trump, and even the British heavy metal band, Camel Toe.
SIDENOTE: The show is so wholesome and so sweet that at the beginning of each show, "American Idol" issues a disclaimer showing that any viewers with glucose issues have to take care not to overdose on the show's sweetness.
