Pasadena,
Going Back to
Cali …
A new cult has arisen in the land of cults, California, where Charles Manson was once a star.
The Cult of Cher wants you to love Cher as they do. Will you sacrifice your first born for the Queen of Cherness? Will you believe in life after love? Do you think you’re strong enough?
The Cult hopes you’re ready to believe in all things Cher.
Except for Sonny Bono! No Bonos! (One of their mottos.) They are not pro-Bono, so get that outa your head right now. No pro Bono! (Say that 5 times fast.)
If you are a Bono lover, then no I’m sorry you can’t belong to the Cher Cult, Get your own Cult, Sonny! He was a good man, but Cher is Cher and shall not share (Hi oh!) the stage with any others.
The Cult compound involves a massive stage where Cher impersonators try to out-Cher each other. Men in drag or women in drag or whatever in drag – as long as the drag is Cher appropriate. (Again, we need to emphasize, if you are trying to be Bono in drag, then get out right now! – no flared collars, no moustache, he don’t got you, babe … we have some lovely parting gifts for you.)
As with all cults, once they get enough people and money and power to believe in Cher, then it will turn into a religion like all the others and demand that everyone on Earth become a Cher lover – and dress in drag to celebrate such. Those who refuse to love Cher and/or to dress like her, shall be deemed an infidel and religious laws are being written right now (and being claimed to have been written by god, aka, Cher) to punish those who are against the Great God, Cher!
All hail Cher! (NO goddamn Bonos – we’re not kidding!)
