Living In A Barbie World Is Better for Grooming Your White Child

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Friday, 10 February 2023

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A Better World Than This ... for some ...

A new movie about your favourite doll is coming out.

BARBIE!

Yes, girls and [maybe boys] around the world will be able to see a world glowing in pink with every woman – Barbie herself of course – in perfect shape, not a wrinkle or varicose vein in sight.

“It’s something for children to aspire to,” commented famous Barbie blogger, Roland P. Aqua. “If you’re pretty and white, you’ll be living in a Barbie world. Don’t worry, there’s room for non-white girls too, but a little off to the side and only when Barbie’s on screen as well – and no close-ups for them – and very little merchandising – maybe a sub-plot, but not a long one, hopefully.

"People go to the Barbie movie to see Barbie! And she’s always been pretty and white. Maybe recently she got a little work done, but that’ll also inspire girls for when they get older – everything wrong with your bodies, girls, can be fixed with plastic!”

Living in a Barbie world … where the Woman’s Movement goes to die. Thanks, Barbie!

(Directed by Greta Gerwig … so don’t, entirely, blame a man for this.)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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