The Impossibility of Tom Baker Having A Birthday

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Saturday, 28 January 2023

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Best Scarf & TV Theme Music Ever!

Tom Baker had a birthday. Some have said that he was the best Doctor Who. Myself included, but then again I haven’t seen all of the Doctors. Why should I when I’ve seen the best – in a couple episodes, I think … plus he had that scarf. Accessories make the man, especially in time.

And therein lay the rub!

How can a time traveler have a birthday? He/she/it can move backwards and forwards in time … ergo (as I scribble on my chalkboard) does he get younger as he goes backwards in time and older when he goes forward? He could enter the negative number if he goes back too far, or if he goes forward, he could be a 1000 years old. Maybe he could go back in time and kick Jesus in the balls and prevent the Inquisition, the Middle Ages, all Popes, Europeans colonization … the list goes ever ever on …

If, according to various theories that make sense to the very few, Tom has a birthday, he can neither go back nor forward in time, and thus … is frozen in time!

Tom Baker is frozen in time as the Greatest Doctor Who of All Time!

Let the fights ensue! My doctor versus yours. Get out your scarves, it’s time travel paradox time!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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