SHEBOYGAN, Wisconsin - (Satire News) - Drive Thru News reporter Mistletoe Bulova, has just broken the story about Tallulah Digginsex, 37, a middle school vice-principal at Vince Lombardi Middle School.
It seems that "Diggy," as her teachers, students, cafeteria workers, and landscaper call her was born with an amazingly astounding two beavers (vaginas).
Digginsex, who recently divorced her husband of 17 years, told Miss Bulova that during her junior and senior years at Sheboygan's Frozen Tundra High School, she was named "The Most Popular Girl In The School."
When "Diggy" was asked what it's like to have two hoohas she giggled, smiled and said that it opened up lots of sexual opportunities for her.
Bulova asked in what way?
"Well for one thing, I was actually able to go out on dates with two different guys at the same time, if you get my drift."
Mistletoe blushed and simply said, "Damn, I-am-so-FUCK-ING jealous!"
