NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - One of the meanest, nastiest, most vulgar pieces of bovine shit to come down the pike in a very long time is none other than Alex "Lexie" Jones.
"Crazy Fuck Face" Jones recently told Fox News host Greg "The Rodent" Gutfeld that he truly believes that in another world he was actually married to Attila The Hun, the world's most mean barbarian no-mad.
Jones, who was born with a deviated scrotum sack, notes that the reason for his bitterness towards everyone is due to the fact that as a college student of 28, he was molested by the basketball team at Swamp State College in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
The bundle of fucking stress said that as a result of the basketball team turning him into a female, he had to spend 17 years undergoing gender correcting therapy.
SIDENOTE: Regarding the college molestation incident, Jones did file a sexual discrimination lawsuit, but the judge dropped the case because it was proved (through surveillance video) that Jones was a willing participant.
