MAR-A-LAGO, Florida - (Satire News) - Close friends and relatives of Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump are saying that the "Toddler Fingers" has finally imploded.
DJT was recently overheard telling his landscaper that he really and truly believes that Donald "Dopey" Trump Jr., is not really his biological son.
When asked why, Donald Sr. replied "Just look at him. Ivanka has blonde hair, Eric has blonde hair, Tiffany has blonde hair, and Barron has blonde hair."
The Trumptard then said, "And Donald Jr. has hair as black as Kevin Hart. So it does not take a space scientist, a brain surgeon, or even one of my trailer park supporters, to see that the little shit looks nothing at all like me."
The Big Mac Muncher remarked that he is going to force "Dopey" to take a DNA test, and if he fails it, then the non-Trump asshole will be cut out of his (Trump's) will and his share will go to little Barron. ■