Statistics are in: any story featuring Johnny Depp with receive more readers than those without.
Are the people clamoring for more Depp? Would they buy Depp t-shirts and lunchboxes and bumper stickers?
If a male or a female sees a photo of Depp, are odds in favor that they will instantly fall in love? Even a crush or puppy love? (oh, Donny Osmond … we miss you.)
Polls show that women aged 0-80 can’t help gazing longingly at Depp and thinking that one day he will marry them. (Yes, even fetuses in American wombs think that, when they’re born, Johnny will be the doctor with a catcher’s mitt ready to catch them.)
Polls also show that 48% of males, whether gay or straight or bromancers, will look at Depp and feel a close connections, even going so far to think that one day they too will become a Depp to someone.
But do they have what it takes? Do you?
Take this Quiz to find how close you are to becoming a Depp:
1.) Do you smoke cigarillos?
2.) Do you ensure your clothes are not only stylish but trendsetting?
3.) Have you ever been in court due to a love gone bad?
4.) Have you ever met or worked with Tim Burton?
5.) Were you born in Kentucky? If not, have you ever been there to pay homage to Johnny birthplace, laying wreaths or flowers, or perhaps making sweet sweet love on … sorry, got carried away, can’t even compose a list of …
6.) Have you ever been attracted to Winona Ryder?
7.) Do you know anything about Hunter S. Thompson, and would you play him in two movies based on his writings?
8.) Are you 5 foot 9 inches?
9.) Do you play any musical instruments?
10.) Do you like pirates?
If you answered yes to ANY of these question, you are a Depp! Congratulations. Now go and be all the Depp you can be!
