The Musk Family Tree Is Breaking Boughs

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Friday, 15 July 2022

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Are They Mormon, or the Next Trumps?

Okay, so, I’m still trying to figure out the Musk family tree.

Elon’s daddy is 76 years old and he had a kid with his step-daughter, whom he has known since she was 4 years old?

And Elon had twins with a co-worker, but he didn’t fire her for not working hard enough, he instead got her preggers and gave her a free pass to the Elon Muck Daycare Center for Somebody’s Kids. (I think I misspelled something there … as Wendy in The Shining said, “I’m very confused.”)

Elon’s daddy said people are put on Earth to reproduce.

Elon had four kids by Justine Musk. And was twice married to Talulah Musk. A woman named ‘Grimes’ dated Elon? Izzat right?

And May Musk is a model. She has no kids. No, wait … she had a kid she raised then married then had kids with the kid?

You realize what this is all adding up to, right?

One: this is why Elon is changing into a Republican, since he and daddy think reproduction is good, and abortion is bad.

[The current population of the planet is 7.96 billion people. There are still more incest than us – sorry, INSECTS than us, which may be due to incest. Are the Musk family a form of humanoid insect? Or are they from the reptile people living at the center of the Earth? Only The Boring Company and Tesla know for sure!]

And Woody Allen thought he had the market cornered on bizarre families!

Two: the Musk Family will someday take over from where the Trump Family tried and failed.

Too many dynastic families control the world. Start yours today. Bang someone you’re somehow related to and make those bellies big!

Ladies, lie back and think of Elon. So many have already!

[Once again, The Handmaid’s Tale is terribly, terribly relevant.]

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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