Soon, Americans will no longer able to “cut footloose”, or “kick off the Sunday shoes”. Fuck Sundays – that’s not the Lord’s Day, it’s a day of hangovers and football.
Kevin Bacon tried to show us how to rebel against rabid Christian preachers who tell us that Jesus doesn’t like dancing. Will Kevin, or “The Baconator”, as I call him, save the day?
He dances when he’s happy, dances when he’s angry – dances as a form of rebellion against an Old Tyme status quo. Sure, when Ma and Pa Kettle held sway across the land, dancing was a tool of the devil. It created witches who needed to be burned. John Lithgow holds sway in small town America – which now has sent hillbilly judges into the Supreme Court – so there’s no hope for big city America.
White trash “Deliverance” banjo players are now firmly in control, fuckers! Better buy yourselves a hound dog, learn how to make moonshine, and ask your sister out on a date, ‘cuz this is gonna get worse afore it gets better, dang nabbit!
Dance, Baconator, dance now more than ever – not for your soul, but better – dance for your life!
