MAR-A-LAGO, Florida – (Satire News) – Reports filtering out of Trump’s humongous Florida complex Mar-a-Lago, which means “Jellyfish Ejaculate,” say that the complex will most probably have to be totally destroyed.
A White House gardener identified as Ching Ting, told a reporter with iRumors that insect inspectors recently found about 900,000 termites on the premises.
Mr. Ting, who knows Karate, Ju Jitsu, Taekwondo, and Backgammon, said that he saw about 60 photos of the heathen termites, and they do not look good.
One photo showed about 14,450 of the pesky little fucking termites doing a number on a $45,000 imported Slovenian dining room table and 8 chairs.
iRumors reporter Ling Chang Rangoon, spoke with Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump on the phone and stated that the Trumptard could be heard sobbing like the racist bitch he is.
Rangoon asked the predatorial pervert if he was crying, and he replied that he wasn’t, and that it was a just damn horny seagull that was screaming for it’s mate.
