The Latest National Poll Reveals That US Families Are Banning Their Unvaxed Relatives and Friends From Family Gatherings

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 14 November 2021

image for The Latest National Poll Reveals That US Families Are Banning Their Unvaxed Relatives and Friends From Family Gatherings
The Hamfukk Cousins of Tit Milk, West Virginia love Trump like a sister.

CHICAGO – (Satire News) – The Nation’s leading poll organization has just discovered that over 83% of all American families are very serious about the resurgence of the Trumpapalooza Virus.

Poll numbers taken by Quinnipinni Polls showed that not all American’s are as complacent as members of Trump’s base.

Millions and millions of vaccinated relatives and friends are refusing to allow their uncaring, selfish-as-shit relatives and friends to attend family gatherings like Thanksgiving, Christmas parties, Bar Mitzvahs, and Valentine’s Day love fests.

One Santa Fe, New Mexico dental assistant, Leona Fabricola, 75, flat out remarked that if her Aunt Petunia, her Uncle Yuckley, and her great-grandmother Thelma refuse to get their vaccination(s) then they can all just go down to hell and stay the fuck there till it freezes over.

Meanwhile the little country of Pisagovia has just informed the World Health Organization that they are proud to say that 99.89% of their population in now vaccinated. The five individuals who refused to get the shot, have been arrested and are being exiled to Afghanistan.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more